Peace

"Never mind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you two.
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes in hurts instead."

Those are the words that cause me to ache. It's lyrics to Adele's song, "Someone Like You". I literally find it hilarious that not even 10 days ago, I wrote a blog post to a person who caused me a lot of pain in the last 6 months, but even more so in the last year. This person caused me pain, depression, heartbreak, confusion, loneliness, bitterness, and jealousy, you name it. Here I am again... writing..... still holding on. Still letting all of the things above get to me. Still letting that person control me without even talking to them. Still hurting and not moving on. Still allowing the girl he's with to cause me great anger and jealousy. But not anymore.

Tonight... at 11, two girls sat with me in a coffee shop. One I've known for years, but one I just met. They are both godsends. They let me ramble on about crap in my life... stuff I hate bringing up and admitting. My blemishes and imperfections. But they truly helped me. In ways I didn't even know were possible. They helped me realize that my worth is in CHRIST alone, not a boy. I knew that, I just didn't think about it. I have been putting all my energy into guys and haven't even embraced the joy that is God. I'm shameful to admit that I probably haven't opened my Bible in over a year. I didn't feel convicted about it until tonight... when I was on the verge of spilling more buckets of tears than I'd already spilled this afternoon. I still don't want to do it. I don't even want to open it up to see what God has for me. I want to wallow because I want to do life by myself. I don't want people to help me. I would just rather wallow in my sin and pain and depression. 

But Christ DIED for me. He died on the cross so that I might live... I no longer have to make up for my sins because He already did that. He wants those sins put on His shoulders. That's what He's there for. And I haven't done that. I have replaced God with people... The people that will disappoint me the most. I haven't fully given my heart and fears and insecurities to God. I've relied on myself to carry my own burdens. Which by the way, isn't working. I'm failing miserably.

It took two precious girls to help me realize that. I'm shedding a lot of tears as I write this, because I'm hurt. I'll probably hurt for a while, but I know that God will create something beautiful out of it.

Romans 8:28-- And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

God is the ultimate healer. I know that He won't heal me right away. Definitely not. It may take days, weeks, months, or years. I may never heal. But I know that God will create a rainbow out of this heavy rain. I know that my trials and tribulations are still there and I still have a heavy weight on my shoulders, but I feel a sense of peace.

And peace is all I need right now to move on.

To The First Man I Ever Gave My Heart To

I gave my heart to you with hopes that we'd last longer than 2.5 years. 

But we didn't. We barely lasted those years, even though we were technically still together. We fought constantly in the last few months before our nasty breakup. I don't think either of us wanted to be in the relationship anymore, we just didn't really know how to come to terms with it. It shouldn't have been that hard to be with someone...and losing you was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I lost not only a boyfriend, but I lost my high school sweetheart and best friend, the one person I told all my secrets, fears, ambitions, and dreams to without being ashamed or embarrassed. I had never trusted anyone else that much with my life. And you tore my heart to pieces. I don't think you meant to, but you did. And it hurt like hell. I was broken hearted for months. I gained 40 pounds and let my house become a trash bin. I cried buckets for a month and a half. Then I couldn't cry anymore. I was tapped out. Slowly but surely, I was getting over you.

Now that we're a day past six months of being apart, I know I'm fine without you. Never thought I would be, but I am. I have moved on. I have come to terms with the fact that we will never be together again. And I am totally okay with that. I won't ever love you like I did before and probably won't ever trust you again, but I won't ever hate you for what you did. Things were a lot different than they are now. We're older, getting more mature, making life decisions we didn't have to make in high school. I guess sometimes you don't always end up being with the person you thought you would. I always thought we'd end up together, but I'm going to be honest... I'm glad we didn't. We wouldn't have been happy and the relationship would've gone terribly wrong had we stayed together. As much as it hurt to lose you, I know that I can go on and leave you in my high school memories. The verse that helped me get through all this was Isaiah 41:10,

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

I never thought I would ever say this, but thank you for breaking up with me. If you hadn't, I don't think I would have ever been able to do half the things I've done since we've been apart. I moved to a different city, switched jobs, and got a new place to live. I'm making friends and putting myself out there. I'm trying new things, going on adventures, and I'm happy and content with where my life is. God has brought me to that place. And I hope the same for you. I hope you're doing everything you told me you wanted to do when we were together. I hope you're actually living the way you say you wanted to and I hope that you are serious about your relationship with God like you said you wanted to be. I seriously wish you the best in life and I honestly do hope that you find a woman that makes you happy. 

With all that being said, I will say... Farewell. We had a good run. Good luck with everything and God Bless.

Sincerely,


Megan

Blessed!

Dear Friends,

If you know me, you know that I love to write. You know that I pour my heart out randomly and you know that I love to speak with all of my emotions. Well, this is to you. You know who you are. You know exactly who I am. You know exactly what you're dealing with when it comes to me. So from the bottom of my heart, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Thank you for all you have done for me. Thank you for allowing me to be me.. and for never allowing me to be something or somebody that I'm not. Thank you for all your love and support throughout the years. Thank you for loving me as I truly am. Thank you for the little things such as holding my hand when I'm scared, for holding me or lending me your shoulder when I cry, and thank you all for having a servant's heart and sacrificing a lot of things for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you're in my life. I usually have the hardest time trusting people, but I don't have that problem with you guys. I am able to trust you with my entire life and not have to worry about being messed with, screwed over, or stabbed in the back. After all that has happened in my life, it's nice to know y'all have my back. :)

On that note, I just want you to know that I mean it when I say I love you. Some of you I haven't known for very long at all but some of you I have known forever and I just want you to know that I love you so much and don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know that I have ever had more love than I do right now for all of you. I am truly blessed by God to know what love is--when it is received and being able to reciprocate! Besides God, you guys are the people who keep me going on a daily basis. You're the ones that keep me smiling until my face hurts and the ones that keep me laughing so hard that I cry, pee my pants, or snort. You're the people I don't have to be embarrassed around and I can show my entirely crazy self to and you will still love me, regardless of the insanity you may feel I have at that particular moment. I have really met some rare gems when I met all of you and so again, I wanted to thank you for all you've done. I know that you'll continue to do more, but I just wanted to stop for a minute to thank you for what you have done for me. You guys have been the most influential people in my life. You have helped me become the true Megan Isabel Skidmore. You've helped me become the person I want to become, the person that God would want me to be. Not the person I want to be for myself. I know I'll make mistakes along the way, but I know that you'll be there to help me get back up if I happen to fall.

That's the most amazing feeling in the world... support. An extra back bone when mine seems to fail. A Heavenly Father who heals it and the friends that surround me to help keep it strong. I have never felt more blessed! I love you all so much... Tears well up in my eyes every time I think about y'all... I've never met more selfless people and you have been an incredible example to me. Even if we don't stay super close for the rest of our adult lives, just know that you guys will always have a special place in my heart. You guys will own the names, "Aunt" and "Uncle" to any children I may bear. You really do mean that much to me... and I can't wait to see where life unfolds and where each of you land when it does! Love you :)

It's Okay

Writing has always been a passion of mine. My favorite format on which to write is my blog. I love that I can speak my mind and I don't have to have it graded on by a teacher and don't have to be ashamed of people reading this. It can just be me, my heart, my head, and my fingers working together to create something. There's something about sharing what's on my mind that makes me feel better about things.

What's on my mind tonight at 12:36 a.m. is the fact that I no longer have a set plan in my life. I had planned to marry my high school sweetheart, be in college working towards a degree in the medical field (still the plan), maybe setting up to have a few kids, and buy a house. Well, that plan backfired (mostly). I'm still in school and living on my own (in an apartment.. no house), but I'm single as a pringle, as some kids would say. If I'm being honest, I'm actually okay with that. I haven't been single in about 3 years so it's refreshing to have this time with God to just figure out who I am, alone. (Who am I kidding? It's refreshing for about 2 seconds and then I find myself crushing on the next guy I meet.)

Although, something else I hadn't really planned is the fact that I just picked up and moved to a new town where I know basically no one (I know only 2 handfuls of people), to a church that I'm only slightly familiar with, and to a place where there might not be job security... and all with a friend who has been in my life for 8 years now. But that's okay. It's what I decided to do. I'm happy with the decision and I feel like it's right for me right now. 

I'm okay with not knowing what's going to happen to me. I kinda have this adrenaline rush when I think about it. My love life is somewhere near non-existent, my self esteem has hit rock bottom, my school life is stressful and exhausting, and I'm exhausted (could be the coffee, could be my late night worrying, who knows). I didn't really want to see my life hit this spot. But it did. And it's okay. I'm okay. I'm still surviving, still hanging on by a thread. I may not have a man (and I may be scaring them away), may not make the smartest decisions (moving without talking to anyone first), may be stressed out for about 95% of my life and losing sleep because of it, but I'm still going. 

That's my plan. To "just keep swimming". To move forward with my life. Not have high expectations, not to try to make something out of nothing, not to force anything to happen, not to WORRY. Worrying may give me something to do but it gets me absolutely nowhere. I have neither the time nor the energy to even care anymore about making things in my life happen. God always ends up opening my eyes about trying to do things my own way, anyhow. This post is to save myself the trouble and remind myself that HE holds my future in HIS hands. God has everything under control. Whether or not I want to believe that truth. It's the absolute truth. I know that anyone reading this will be in my face screaming, "Uh, duh! I've been trying to tell you this for a long time!" 

My hope for this next upcoming year is that I make it a year of no regrets. I want to go on adventures, get out of my comfort zone, explore new places, eat foods I'd once cringed at trying, meet new people even though that scares the daylights out of me, and much more. I don't want to make plans. I just want things to happen and let life takes its course. Like the element of surprise. I don't want to set the bar too high and end up disappointed. I want to just allow God to take me wherever He chooses and I want to be okay with it. Because in the end, I know I'm going to be okay. Just like I am now.

To My Dearest Friends

I have been blessed in my life to find people that know most everything about me... and still want to be in my life. They know my good and bad qualities, my quirks, my fears, my overreactions, etc. They know all of that stuff and yet they still are my friends. I can tell them pretty much anything and not be embarrassed about it. Some of them I have just met and some of them have been in my life for a long time. But I just wanted to take the time to thank them here.

Abbie--You have been my longest friend...11 years! We may not have been "best friends" until 6 years ago, but you have been in my life for so long that I can't ever picture my life without you. I know you will always be there even if you're not always "there". You have helped me get through several boys, breakups, heartaches, you've been my shoulder to cry on, you've helped me with my homework, stayed up talking to me at night when I have needed it, you helped me write some of the most LAME stories ever, you've been excited for me when I go on dates, you literally tackled me when I said I was fat, you trusted me with your life and opened your heart with me, you've stayed up to shave your legs with me at 2 in the morning, you and I have had best friend dates and have gone to see romantic movies and dinners together, you led me around New York and took me to the beach and we bought floppy hats and sat in the hot sun together in the middle of June, and you're always there to lend a hand and to give great, godly advice. You're downright amazing. Thank you so much for all you've ever done for me and for everything you will do in the future. I feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life and call you my best friend. I don't know what my life would look like without you in it! I love you so much and can't wait until I can see you again:)

Sarah Anne-- We have been friends for what, like, 7 years now?! I remember the day you and I met. It was at a New Year's Eve party. I don't remember all the events that took place but I knew that wherever you went, I went too! We became friends from that point on and you've continually stayed in my life which is amazing, because of all that you have had to put up with! We've been friends through the weird, no-makeup stages, the braces, the pimples, driver's training, and puberty. (Yuck) We've had our ups and downs and we've had a few fights but we always come back to each other in the end. We've had countless sleepovers where you and I have done prank calls to people we know, stayed up until 4am talking about boys and calling them ;), we've spent years together in youth group, at camp, went to high school together, you were with me during my various panic attacks, you have stayed up late at my house (even when I wasn't there) just to help me get back on the right track, and now we're going to be roomies! Can you believe that?! It has always been a pleasure to have you in my life! I don't know what my life would have looked like all throughout these years if you hadn't been there. You always bring laughter and excitement to my life and I can't wait to see more of you when we live together. It's going to be a great adventure! Love you! :)

Sarah Z (and CJ)-- You've been one of my closest friends for almost 6 years now. I can't believe it's really been that long. I remember the day I met you! It was at a youth group event. Some mutual friends introduced us and from that point on, we were pretty close friends. We texted nonstop for 2 weeks! We never saw each other and had conflicting schedules and that always sucked, but now that you are married and I'm an adult (and I can drive), we have gotten together a lot more often, which I have happily taken advantage of! (And thank you CJ for letting me steal your wife for hours in the last few weeks!) But in all seriousness, you truly have been one of the most influential people in my life. You have helped me through so much of my teen years and you have always given me the greatest advice when it came to guys, God, work, school, etc. You have always been there for me when I've needed to talk, you've always invited me to your parties, you've always been there when I've needed to cry to someone, you laughed at me when I squeezed the life out of your hand and cussed at the workers in the haunted house, you and your husband have paid for various things for me and you guys let me eat your food, you've listened to me ramble on and on about the things you've heard a dozen times, you are willing to teach me how to snowboard, and you've always opened up your home to me when I needed to get out of town. You even wasted your gas to come all the way to Owosso to help me clean my house and get over dumb boys ;) You're an amazing, true friend. I love you so much and just wanted to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. :) I don't know what I'd do without you!

David-- It's only been 3 weeks since I've "officially" known about your existence, but your existence has been a pleasure to be around. I've never met anyone in my entire life that I could connect with so fast (on a friendship level) besides you. Literally the first night we met, we stayed up until 5 in the morning and attempted to watch a horror movie but then we just talked and laughed (and kept Sarah up). That made me feel like I have known you my whole life. Meeting you (or according to Sarah, being set up) was one of the best things that has happened to me in the last half of this year.. I've been through a lot and you've just made it easier for me. You've been there to listen to me ramble on the phone about the most random things, you've been (a part of) my support system, you've helped me work through some personal battles, you've gotten me to laugh until I peed my pants or cried, you held my hand in the haunted house when I was scared and freaking out while hyperventilating, you've gotten me to smile so much that my face hurts afterward, you've taken me to the movies and bought me dinners, and best of all... you've cared about me so much that you've offered to help me with things and have asked me if I'm doing okay, every single day. Thank you for being so sweet and for making things less difficult for me. You've been an amazing friend and I can't wait to get to know you better.. for years to come:)

Friends like this don't always come around.. but when they do, hold them close! These people are amazing and I'm so glad I've had the privilege of meeting them, growing up with them, and spending time in my adult life with them. I have not always made friends easily and obviously all of them have known that, but they have stayed in my life regardless! They are all meaningful to me and I'm so glad God hand-picked them to walk into my life. I am forever grateful and happy to know them and love them. :)

Future Husband Qualities

I recently was looking at articles online and I came across one for "Future Wife Qualities". I read through it and it was all about the girl's appearance. It was less about qualities that truly should matter when you are trying to plan a life with someone else. I have always been the girl dreaming about who I would marry since I was about 5 years old. So, I'd like to pick someone who isn't as concerned with my looks as much as my qualities. I have a long pinterest board filled with my wedding day ideas! But the wedding is not near as important as the marriage is. Marriage is such a milestone because that means you have found the person you would (potentially) be spending the rest of your life with. How great is that?!

When I date a man, I date with the intention of marrying the person. I think that's good rule to live by when it comes to sharing your life with another person. When I meet a new guy, I will sometimes jump too quick in it and sometimes bring up the "marriage" talk too soon and it freaks them out (been there, done that). What I want to try to do better with that is just pray to God and ask Him to protect my heart in case something doesn't go right, but I also pray that whatever the relationship happens to be, that it be God's will, not mine. I have tried to "run" and "take charge" on my own in relationships and they have always failed miserably. If I keep insisting on my own way of doing things, I'll either never marry at all or I'll marry the wrong guy and end up divorced (two extremes I pray never happen). But I have certain qualities I'd like to see my future husband have just as my own personal preference. The qualities I will list are the most important to me. 

1) A man who LOVES the Lord. I have been with too many guys that have not loved or pursued the Lord. I want a man strong in his relationship with God. It's essential to make a marriage work and under God's terms. I want to marry a man who encourages me everyday to love the Lord and be like Jesus!

2) A man who can lead me to righteousness without having leadership capabilities. I know that God does not call all men to be leaders and that's okay. I don't care about that as much as I care about God putting a man in my life that can lead me to Christ everyday. I want a man who will lead Bible studies, who will pray with me, and who will pray FOR me. That's so important!

3) A man that is my best friend. I want to marry my best friend. A best friend is someone you spend all your time with. I want to marry someone that, beforehand, I am fully able to trust with my life and a person I can cry to and not be embarrassed about it, someone who sees my good side and my bad side, my quirks, my struggles, my fears, and more and still wants to spend their life with me. I feel like that's always the best kind of relationship :)

4) A man who can make me laugh and someone I can have a good time with. I can't picture myself marrying a man who is tense and can't joke around once in awhile, because I love poking fun! But also don't want to marry a person that doesn't laugh at me for making stupid jokes, because I do that A LOT. (I like to think for a minute that I'm actually funny!) But someone who doesn't know how to put a filter on teasing is a major turn off, because sometimes it can go too far. I want a man who knows how to be both serious and funny without being hurtful. 

5) A man who is patient with me. I am STUBBORN and hardheaded. It's who I've always been since I was a kid. I don't know that that will ever change, though, I pray that it does. I'd pursue a man who can help me in this area especially if he is usually calm and collected himself! I will pursue a man who will pray with and for me concerning this particular area. 

6) A man who respects me and my family. I can't pursue a man that doesn't respect me, my family, or my friends even if they do something that isn't right. People make mistakes and they aren't perfect. A man who is able to get outside of his pride and is willing to apologize for wrongdoings is a man worth marrying. 

7) A man that can help me be more adventurous (because I love my comfort zone!) I have never been willing to get outside of my comfort zone. So I will pursue a man that can try to get me to try different things since I usually won't do that on my own. I am usually not one to try things that are dangerous, but I want a man who is willing to work with me on stepping out of my comfort zone in a safe way! 

8) A man who is willing to include me in decision making process. I want to pursue a man who is able to make decisions for the most part, but will include me in them by asking me, "What do you think, hon? Should we go in this direction or should we stay where we're at?" Those are the kinds of questions I want to be asked depending on what the situation is. I don't want to be controlled like I am a puppet and he is the puppet master. I want a man to see me as his equal if I plan to marry him. 

9) A man who is Godly. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with #1, but I wanted to make a separate category because there is so much that I want to see for a future spouse in this area! A man who prays for me, about me, about our family, about our relationship, seeks God first, reads the Bible on a consistent basis, loves God before me, and really truly has God at the center of his life. I want to pursue a man that will make me a better Christian just by being with him!

10) A family man and fatherly figure. This is one of the most important ones for me. I plan to be a mom in the near future and I want to pursue a man that can be an example to their future sons/daughters and help their children grow up in a good family environment. I want a man who cares more about being around his children rather than trying to keep the house perfectly clean 100% of the time. Parenthood is messy! Children are messy! It's going to happen. :)

Those are the 10 qualities I'd like to see in any future boyfriend and potential husband. I don't see myself marrying for a few more years, but I'll be looking out for this man! I believe he is out there somewhere in the world and I pray for him often :) 

xoxo 

Megan

To My Baby Sister, My Forever Friend

There is always that one person in life that you feel you can't live or function without. There is always that one person that is always by your side and is willing to sit beside you and hold you while you cry and then that the same person is screaming at you when you are doing something stupid and won't listen to anyone. There is always that one person that loves you to death no matter how immature you're acting and no matter how stubborn you are. This person is my sister.

When you're with someone for years at a time like my sister and I were, you get used to them being around. We were attached at the hip. We did everything together and went everywhere together. Everything was awesome but we both knew the time would come when she would be getting prepared for college. But then I decided to move out of my parent's house. I wanted to have freedom and be a grown up. It was really hard at first. My sister would call me up several times in a week just to see if I was okay and not doing anything stupid. It annoyed me at first but I knew she truly cared for me deep down and didn't want me to get hurt. I began to miss her the longer we'd go without speaking.

Then summer came. She left to go have fun while I was at home adulting. I cried a lot when I didn't see her because I missed her so much. I felt so pathetic because I felt like part of my heart had been ripped directly out of my chest. We've never been farther apart than maybe a week or two in our ENTIRE lifetimes. So it was really painful. When I moved out, it was different but she was still home. But now I can no longer drive over to my parents house and walk directly back to my sister's bedroom and find all her belongings there. Because she's not there. She's gone. But she's always in my heart. On that note, this is to you, Linny.

You are my forever friend. You are my sister and my best and truest friend. Even though we get on each other's nerves sometimes, I will always cherish every moment we have ever spent together from the time you were born until the days we die. You mean the world to me. You have been my playmate, my other half of a duet, my crazy steering wheel drumming, dancing with no hands on the wheel, laughing until we cry, screaming out the chorus before we get out of the car sister. I miss all of our laughing fits in the backseat of the car that made mom and dad yell at us for being so loud and then it made us laugh even harder. I miss singing duets together with a guitar/piano duo. I just miss you entirely.

Even if you don't ever decide to come back to Michigan, just know I will always consider moving wherever you are. Because I can't imagine a life without you around. I know you're going to go out and do great things with your life because it's just in you to want to be the best and to strive for the highest possible career that you can in the field you love.

"I've had the time of my life, no I've never felt this way before, yes, I swear it's the truth, and I owe it all to you." 

Cheesy and cliché, I know, but so true! You have taught me to appreciate music and you have showed me that it's okay not to be the best at everything. You have taught me not to compare myself to you because we are totally different. You have been totally psyched for me when I tell you I have a date and that you want to know how it goes. You are always there over the phone when I need you, like if I have a crisis or panic attack. You're always understanding when I tell you it's about math and do your best to help me over the phone. I know that if you could you'd be at my house in a heartbeat being my support system if I ever needed you. But I know most of all you'd be there and holding me while I cry or lending your shoulder. That's why I love you to pieces. You're an amazing person and I know someone someday is going to notice your potential and it will be amazing.

All I can say is that I love you, sissy. Thank you for all you have ever done for me and for making my life so much better. I can't wait to experience more of life with you when you come home! 

My Fitness Journey

I haven't written in a while, so I thought I would write about my recent journey of a healthy lifestyle! I have gained some weight due to my inability to cook, eating out, and not caring about what food I'm putting in my body. Because of this, I was feeling tired and sluggish all of the time and went into a depressed-like state.  I gained up to 40lbs from doing this and I was DES-PER-ATE to fit in my old clothes again.

A friend of mine (We'll call her Jessie to keep her name private) was in a program called 21 Day Fix. This program caters to portion controlled meals with specific foods allowed. At first I was a little hesitant to fork over the amount of money required for the program because of my budget and not knowing if it would really work for me, but I did it anyway and I am SO glad I did!

The day I got the program and tasted my first sip of shakeology, I knew I made the right decision. I was skeptical of how good it tasted for it being so healthy! I messed around with the ingredients to put in the shakeology and it became my favorite meal of the day! I have worked out every day for the last 2 weeks and I'm starting to see tiny little differences on my body. This has started my fitness and health journey and I'm going to continue in it. It takes 21 days to start a new habit, so I'm hoping by the end of the 21 days I'll have curbed my cravings and can continue eating better!!!!

If it weren't for Jessie, I wouldn't have started this journey and wouldn't have changed my habits or lifestyle at all. So thank you, Jessie, for believing in me and for encouraging me when I get discouraged! It helps to have someone along side me on this difficult but rewarding journey.

My Heart Speaks... Part 1

I never thought I'd have the strength to write what I'm about to. I have this extreme fear that anyone who reads this is going to know who I'm writing about and know exactly what went down and that frightens me. Because I'm afraid the person I'm writing about is going to find this and read it and be hurt. . . . but it's on my heart and needs to be out. I am writing this in TOTAL confidence. So here it goes:

I recently just got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship with a guy I thought I was going to marry. We were totally in love and everything was going great or so I thought... and then we started fighting a lot. I don't know when it happened, but we just got in little spats about things. We would make up and everything would be fine and then we would be fighting all over again. It got to the point where we were seeing less and less of each other and everyone knew it. My parents saw the end of the relationship coming and so did I. . . just not when it happened.

We had just gotten into a fight two days before and it was one of the biggest ones we'd ever had. He dropped me off after we were done talking and told me he loved me, but I didn't say it back. I made a face that said, "Yeah, whatever" because I was so mad at him....I slammed the door to his truck and stomped up my stairs. I threw the promise ring he gave me across my room and plopped on my bed and screamed A LOT. I was angry. I had it in my head that my anger was justifiable. I thought I was in the right. To this day, I still don't know what I was so angry about.

Anyway, I had consulted some friends about the situation and they had assured me everything would be okay. But it wasn't. Two days later, I hadn't heard from my boyfriend and he texts me to tell me he's coming over to talk to me. And that's when it happened. He stayed for an hour to talk. He broke up with me and all I did was cry. I begged and pleaded for him to give me another chance, but instead he just got up and walked out the door. I cried for the next month and a half. I was completely heartbroken.

I'd had other flings with guys and gotten my heart broken, but this was my best friend. The person I had confided and trusted in for 4 years. I had let him in my life and I gave him parts of my heart and in the end, I ended up getting hurt. I never thought I'd see the end of the relationship. It has been one of the most painful things I have EVER had to go through... SO PAINFUL. I don't recommend it. So many people get involved and more than 2 people get hurt... the families involved get hurt too. Not fun.

On the 9th of October, it will be 4 months since that dreadful day. I hate marking days like that normally, but I'm trying to view it as progress the farther along I get. 4 months of progress, slowly getting over the pain and starting my life over. I'm trying to just be me again... keep guys out of the picture and just focus on my career. I know that I wouldn't have been able to get this far without my closest friends, family, and most importantly God. My relationship with God has been so rocky for so long..... For the last 4 months, I have been able to completely rely on God to get me through every single day... and slowly the days get easier.

I believe that God (quite literally) drug me by my ears kicking and screaming just to show me that he has a greater plan for me than I have for myself. I think that was one of the things He was always trying to tell me but through my parents and mentors... and I ignored it. And that's when I knew that maybe God did this to get my attention and to bring myself closer to Him. It was painful, but Jesus knew this life on earth wouldn't be easy to live.

I'm feeling blessed even though I feel like I have a lot of things going against me. I know that I am loved even though at the same time, I don't feel as though I am. I know that I can go through this, even though I don't feel like I can. But I'm going to.... someday.

The Light Blonde

Just thought I'd give a shout out to the The Light Blonde for their beautiful "God Is Greater than the highs and lows" t-shirt. It's ADORABLE and I have been swooning! It's very comfortable but it runs big on me (size medium) so I was able to either tuck it in or wear a blazer over top. I'm totally in love!

I decided to pair it with a J Crew inspired mint floral necklace. I did not get it from J Crew, but I got it off of Groopdealz! The deal is now expired unfortunately, but there may be other places to find one just like it! ;) I got quite a few comments on it, so I'm sure you would if you wear one too!

You can't see my jeans or my shoes because I'm still working on my outfit selfie skills, but I am wearing real straight Gap Jeans I got from a thrift store and a pair of brown flats. (Love when you get steals from thrift stores so you don't have to spend a fortune on cute clothes!)

Head on over to the Light blonde website and buy one of their shirts! You'll fall in love and won't be sorry!

Lifestyle Fashion Blog

This weekend, I was talking with my dad about what I'd like to do in my life as a career or side job. My dad has been trying to get me into blogging because he knows my love for writing and encouraged me to try, years ago! I haven't been adventurous with much in my life, so he thought that'd be a great start for me and creating my own online business. 

I've always had a love for fashion, but didn't always know how to make my clothes look stylish or fashionable. I wasn't interested in fashion blogging until recently, but I started to dress better after I started following Shop Dandy, A Southern Lady, and Bloom Into Beautiful on social media! I saw what they wore and just "had to have" everything in their closets! From that point on, I was hooked on fashion. 

This is just the start of what I hope is a beautiful beginning in my lifestyle blogging! I know that you have to start somewhere and this is where I've decided to start. Come along in that journey with me! I can't wait to get started and share my outfits! :)

Happy Reading, 

Megan 

xoxo

My greatest problem in life is solved.

I know what it's like to feel alone. I know what it's like to be broke and desperate. I know what it's like not to feel good in your own skin. I know what it's like to feel like there is no one who understands. I know what it's like to cry for a week straight. I know what it's like to put on a fake smile so no one asks you how you are. I know that feeling where you feel like your life is falling apart. I know that feeling where you feel like your friendships and relationships are disintegrating. I know that feeling where you feel like everything is going wrong in your life and nothing and no one could even fix that. But that is okay. Because I also know that feeling of pure joy. The feeling that even though things are in a rough spot, everything will be okay.

I can't help but feel it lately. I have been praying for the Lord to give me peace in my life. I have been praying for the Lord to change my heart. I have been praying that the Lord will help me cling to Him when I am in a lowly and painful state. I pray for the Lord to help me be a Christian example. I pray for Him to lead me into righteousness. I pray for the Lord to heal me of my insecurities and find SECURITY and HOPE in Him. I have prayed for the Lord to help me flee from temptations and deliver me from evil. I pray that even for a minute I will pause and thank Him for all the wonderful things He has done for me! He has given me a place to live, clothes to wear on my back, food to eat, money to use as a resource for all those things, and He has given me family and friends to help look after me, and help me get through this tough life so I don't have to do it alone!

I have prayed this prayer for so long that I finally and truly feel that way. I feel secure in knowing that the Lord holds my future. The Lord has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11) and He has showed me that I should not worry about anything (Luke 12:22-34). The Lord has written the story of my life. Day by day, he turns the page to a new day, a new beginning... That His love never ceases, his mercies never come to an end and are new every morning, and that His faithfulness is great (Lamentations 3:22-23). He knew from before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) what my life would look like, who would be in it, and what I would do every single day that I am living and breathing. He knows me inside and out and still chooses to love and forgive me... No matter what I have done, "as far as the east is from the west... He has moved my transgressions from me" (Psalm 103:12). He chose to leave my sins at the feet of the cross. He doesn't hold them against me. He does not make me feel guilty for my wrongdoing, because He "keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13). This feeling has never given me a greater joy. My greatest problem in life is solved. The Lord has taken care of everything.... I no longer need to worry!

Couldn't help but just share how the Lord has helped me find joy! Praise Jesus!

XOXO

Psalm 100:1

In my own personal T.A.W.G (Time Alone With God) I came across Psalm 100. I absolutely LOVE the psalms. This specific psalm is of giving thanks; and the chapter begins with; "His steadfast love endures forever". The first verse reads,

"Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, in all the earth."

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, for some people it's not. It's hard for some people to understand that if you don't have a great singing voice that you can't sing at all. You can.

God created you and made you. If He didn't create you with a singing voice like Mariah Carey or Frank Sinatra, who cares? God doesn't want us singing for the approval of man, anyway. He wants us to sing praises to HIM. He's the only one that matters when it comes to our God-given gifts. Don't do it for anyone but Him. He doesn't care if you sing off key or you're tone deaf or you sound like a dying cat. He cares whether or not you are glorifying Him. That's all that matters in the end.

To this day, I still shudder when I think about the time I screwed up a solo on Christmas Eve 4 years ago. But you know what? I still did it, even when I cracked on the high note. A lot of people in the church barely noticed it and they commented me afterward on how beautiful it was. At the end of the day, I am always going to be my worst critic. What they saw was the beauty of Christ when I sang it and that's enough for me.

Making a joyful noise gives me a whole new outlook on my life. God gave me a singing voice, something that a lot of people don't have. I am blessed beyond measure to be able to use it for his glory and to sing praises to Jesus on and off the stage at church. I love to sing with our small group up front but I also love singing to Jesus in the pews. I don't care where I am, but I love to sing and I am so happy that God has given me this precious gift! Forever thankful!

What I Have Learned From Living On My Own

I have wanted to "grow up" and "be an adult" since I was 13, hence my last post writing a letter to myself. When I turned 18 a year ago, I had it in my head that I wanted to have the responsibilities of a grown up but I didn't move out until I was almost 19. So I saved for a year and went searching for an apartment. A month before I turned 19, I moved out. My parents weren't very supportive of the idea because they thought it was a mistake. I went ahead and did it, anyway. At first, I had quite a bit of money saved up. Well, that money quickly left my bank account before my next month's rent and bills. I couldn't believe how fast it went. Crazy.

Then I got this crazy idea in my head to use my credit card. I was barely making it as it was and I kept having to used the money I was saving up on all my bills. I had no extra money except for on my credit card. Over the course of the next 3 months, my credit card was maxed out in which I bought severely expensive items like clothes, shoes, designer purses and jewelry, food I didn't need, etc. I was barely able to buy groceries because my credit card was gone and I was afraid to write checks or pull cash out of the bank so I could pay my rent and other necessary bills. You want to know the worst part? I wasn't paying my tithe. I had spent all my money on me. None of it went to God. I was incredibly selfish.

Not to mention, during this bad time in my life, I was eating a lot more. I was lonely and never saw anyone. I'd buy any food I was craving because it was giving me a comfort I hadn't felt in over a year. Before I knew it, I was 35-40 lbs over my regular weight. My parents starting noticing it and so did everyone around me. I was buying things because I was trying to fill a void. I was doing all the wrong things and I wasn't opening my Bible and giving God the time of day. I was trying to do everything myself because I thought I could.

My boyfriend at the time was also starting to notice my habits. He confronted me about them and I pushed them away and told him I was taking care of it. He backed off for a while and then started noticing all these new things I had at my apartment, so then he got really worried and confronted me about it again. He was starting to become angry with me, just like I thought he might be... which is why I tried to hide everything from him.

Soon after that, my dad found out about my finances which were then exposed to my whole family. I was embarrassed and humiliated. I couldn't believe I had gotten myself into that mess. My dad is now having to bail me out and my college money is being used to pay off my stupidity. Not the way I wanted to prove to my dad I could be an adult.

After all of this went down, I finally told God, "I need you. I can NOT do this alone. I am not doing things right and I have wanted to do things my way. This isn't what I should be doing. I need you to show me how to do the right thing in Your eyes." So, I gave my prayers up to God. I had an epiphany and wanted to change the way I was living. I wasn't doing anything to glorify God. I was doing everything to glorify myself. Every area of my life was being compromised because God wasn't in the picture. All my relationships with people were falling apart, my money was gone, I was in the hole, my laundry was piling up, I was buying things I didn't need, barely had money for the things that mattered, and I would thank God every Friday when my paycheck came to make sure I was able to pay my rent. I was doing the complete opposite of being a grown up.

I have realized that trying to make a living isn't an easy thing to do. I thought I could do it with no problem, but I was dead wrong. I put God on the back burner and put what I wanted in front of me. God allowed for this to happen, which makes me realize He was trying to teach me something I wasn't allowing anyone to tell me. I had to figure things out the hard way, which is why I wanted to write this all down as a reminder of my need for a Savior. I need Jesus way more than I ever care to admit. I need Him to help me get through the months with my food, rent, insurance, medical bills, everything. I tried to do this alone and it got me in the hole.

Now that this is out of the dark, I have decided to change my outlook on life. I started to open my Bible again and consume my mind with good thoughts and prayer. I watch less Netflix. Netflix consumed my life for those months and I chose to be lazy. But because of my recent change, I have decided to allow myself to watch limited amounts of TV, give God at least 15-20% of what I have earned, read my Bible and listen to 1-2 sermons a day, pray for a good amount of time, start a healthier lifestyle, work out, and go to sleep at a sensible hour. These might seem like no changes at all, but they are HUGE changes to me. This is the most drastic change I've seen in my life in over a year. I have been praying that God will give me the strength to move on from this minor set back in life and I have asked him to help me gain a better mindset about the things He has given me.

I hope this helps someone.



XOXO

The Letter I'd Write to My 13-Year-Old Self

Dear 13-Year-Old Self or to whom it may concern,

Don't waste away the life you currently have. You never listened when people told you that growing up isn't fun and isn't what you'll expect it to be. But you decided for yourself that you were going to be a grown up and that it was going to be fun. Because that is the case, here is some advice for you:

1. Don't EVER EVER EVER let any boy that has not gone through puberty EVER convince you that he loves you. He's not thinking rationally or clearly. He's still a child and so are you. Don't ever let a guy (that can't even drive you to a date) convince you that he loves you. He doesn't. His pre-pubescent mind only wants one thing, just so you know. Don't fall for it. Besides, you have more important things to worry about than a husband or boyfriend when you're 13. Stop that nonsense. Just focus on the more important things like #2 below.

2. You may hate school now, but push through it, anyway. There's a reason you are in school in the first place. It's not to dink around or be there for friends (although, friends are a bonus). The main reason for your education is so you can stop being a lazy teenager and grow up to be a mature, successful adult. It's not for any reason but to have a GREAT career. If you want to have a job someday that could end up serving you well, don't fool around. Just don't.

3. If you think you have "a lot" of money now, you just wait and see. You'll notice it doesn't stay "a lot" for long. It goes away once you add in all the bills like, electricity, rent & homeowners insurance, food, your car's gas and insurance, and whatever else you choose to have for your budget. And the very important and stupid thing to remember: DO NOT MAX OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD. NEVER EVER EVER DO THAT.

4. Find a mentor/strong woman of God you can trust to help get you through your toughest struggles, pray, and read God's Word every day of your life.  Do that as if your life depended on that... as if it were your last breath and reading it would keep you alive. God's Word is what gets you through those really tough issues in life and wise people in life can help you make those assessments, which is why I say find a mentor. Don't try to go through life alone. You're just gonna screw yourself over and over again. Don't do it. Ask for help from wise people and God!

5. Just so you know, once you're done with high school.... you will probably not end up having most of the friendships you had or at least in the same way you had them. Everyone will want to go off and do separate things. The things you and your best friend were gonna do together changed, because the both or one of you changed. That's not all bad, just don't expect things to stay the same. If they are still in your life when you're 40, feel extremely blessed and lucky because a lot of people don't have that. And that is just the way it is. So get over it and focus on your career and what you would like your future to look like. Let God take control of the rest of your life.

6. Don't ever be cocky about anything ever. That will just end up biting you in your rear end. Just don't ever think you're better than everyone else, 'cause you're not, k? You are a sinner, just like everyone else. There should be no reason that you are critical of the way someone else is living because you have a hard enough time keeping track of your own life. Don't give advice to other people that you can't even follow yourself. Simple as that.

7. You are beautiful. Don't ever let yourself or someone else tell you differently. You look fine without makeup. Don't convince yourself that you need it to be pretty, cause you don't. Hair dye and make up do not define who you are. Your faith and Christianity, however, do. If God wanted us to wear makeup and dye our hair a different color, he would've created us that way, I'm convinced. So just don't focus on the outer appearance because, just so you know, it's gonna fade. Whether you dye your hair or wear makeup or have piercings or tattoos, your outer beauty is going to one day fade and you won't look the same. Like I said before, just don't focus on impressing anyone. The natural you is bound to impress someone more than the mask you're trying to hide behind. So just go natural once in a while. Just do it.

Ahh, so you've read my list? Well, that stuff is crucial to know before you head off into the adult world or to at least be a happy individual. It is VITALLY important to listen to adults and wise counsel. Always remember that. God is always going to be there, whether you think He is or not. He is. Your parents love you, whether you think they are too critical or not. They may be, who knows. But that's not for you to worry about. They were given a job as a parent and it's your job to do what God has asked you to do as a child: Obey and also "Honor your mother and father: for this is the only commandment with a promise; that you may live long in the land." That's your job. Try to do that and they may react better.


Your Future Self,



Megan Isabel Skidmore

Romans 12:1-2 Study

Romans 12:1-2; "Therefore, I urge you brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind, that by testing you may discern what the will of God is, which is good, acceptable, and perfect." 

In 2007, my pastor preached a sermon series called, "City on a Hill". The scripture reference was Romans 12. He had the entire church memorizing the passage of scripture. I was only about 10 at the time. My parents sat down with my sister and I and we memorized a lot of it. After 8 years, I can only remember bits and pieces by heart, but the first 2 verses have been stuck in my brain all these years. Today, I decided to listen to this series over again starting with the first sermon. I have notes to prove that I am taking in all that was said! Here are some of the notes I gathered from this sermon:

"We have grown in number, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God." --Abraham Lincoln 

We use our minds as if Christ doesn't exist in any part of our being.

YOU get to decide how you spend your 24 hours in the day. So don't make excuses about all the stuff you have to do in a day when you're not spending any of it with God. Make time for your Heavenly Father.

"Therefore"-- Chapters 12 through 16 orchestrate the practical section of Romans that contains application/teaching. It is applying what was learned in chapters 1-11 in Romans. 

How does our life show we are a Christian? What is the consequence in my life? How should you live based on what you have learned about God?

Ezekiel 33:10--"How should we then live?"

Wisdom of God begins with a fear of God. 

WE ARE FREE FROM THE BONDAGE OF SIN. God sent His only son to DIE on the cross for OUR sins. 

Paradox, not contradiction: 
God is of 1 essence, 3 persons. 
We must die in order to live.

You can NOT remain the god of your own life. We belong to Christ!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20; "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." 

1 Peter 1:18-19; "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect."

We were bound to slavery and we were REDEEMED.

We do not think enough of these things!!!

1. Exercise your mind. Analyze. You are not an animal. Use your head.

2. God provides mercies everyday. 

Lamentations 3:22-24; The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "therefore, I will hope in Him." 

3. Sacrifice should not conjure up denial, discipline, resolutions, which may make us depressed. It should conjure up LIFE.

4. God redeemed you out of the marketplace of the world!

Father's Day

Father's Day is coming around the corner pretty soon and since I won't be home to celebrate this day with my father, I thought I would write about what I think it means to have an excellent father.

The man in the picture is my daddy. He watched me come into the world 19 years ago and he has always done what a father was supposed to do in the eyes of God. He has brought me up in the Lord, taught me about Jesus, and has always set an incredible example of a successful hard worker. My dad hasn't always been perfect. He has messed up just like everyone else, but he has still always done the best he could with what he knew.

He raised my sister and I with no help mate for 7 years. 7 whole years we were without a mother and he did it. He did it with the help of God and some nannies, of course. Nevertheless, he still did. He kept us alive (we ate out a lot, but that's okay too). I am beyond thankful that even though I was an extremely aggravating child, he still loved me and cared for me. I was never abandoned. I was always loved and taken care of and some kids don't even get that. I am so blessed to call this man my daddy. Even if I did things he didn't like, he still allowed me to do them and to learn from my many mistakes.

I don't know what I would have done without him all these years. He has always tried to find ways for me to better myself. He has always given me advice, whether or not I take it. He has always tried ways for me to get through school because he knows it wasn't easy for me. He has never stopped loving me, even when I really don't deserve to be loved. I am so blessed that God had a plan for my life that included him.

I love you, daddy. Can't picture you not being in my life. You're amazing and selfless and kind and caring and I couldn't picture anyone else but you to be my dad. Happy Father's Day.

"Do Not Be Anxious"

Recently, I have been fighting quite a few battles all at once. At the time I didn't really know what was going on or why they were happening to me, until I had this epiphany that completely startled me. God was trying to tell me something. He didn't speak to me in a dream and He didn't do it in any way that was obvious, until now. 

What He was trying to relay to me was, "Do not be anxious". That is the section in Matthew 6 that has haunted me my whole entire Christian life. I once had a friend that heard me complaining about the way my life would turn out and I wasn't sure what I was going to do, going to eat, going to say, etc. So she said, "I'll be right back," and she came back holding a Bible in her hand and it was flipped to Matthew 6:25-34. She asked me to read it and then come back to her. So I read it and this is what I began to read:

Matthew 6:25-34, "Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you,  O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious saying, ' What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your hevenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." 

When I read that entire section of Scripture, I was dumbfounded. I told my friend that I was very thankful she shared that passage with me because reading it gave me a whole new meaning for worrying and being anxious about things. I have always known God would take care of me. I have always known that I should never take my own plans into consideration, because God is the author of my life's story. God has every hair counted and every plan for His children mapped out from BEFORE the foundation of the world. Before ANYONE was around, He knew exactly what would be going on in my life at this time.

Luke 12:7, "Why even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows."

Ephesians 1:4, "even as he chose us IN Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him."

He knew me then, He knows me now, and He will know me in the future. I never will, but I know that He has everything mapped out. It's easier said than done, but this is exactly the kind of thing I needed so I know what to pray about! Another great verse in the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11. It has been my life verse since 2011. It gave me a perspective on things.

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

Lord, Thank you so much for allowing your Word to be forever engraved in my heart and my mind and my soul. Thank you for giving me the strength to carry on with the plans you have mapped out for me. Thank you for allowing the words to flow from Your Word on to the pages of this blog. Thank you for your goodness to me. Let my words speak of honor and poise and grace to you, Heavenly Father.

City On A Hill

One of the many convictions I have felt in my Christian walk is being the light in the dark world. I have failed at the countless times I have had to be the LIGHT of Christ. Tonight in my devotions, I was reading the New Testament and I came upon this topic that I wanted to share my thoughts on. Here is what it says in Matthew 5:14-16,

"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill can not be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good work and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven."

Like I said in the beginning, I have put God to shame, especially in a school setting. I have been embarrassed that I am the only one who appears to be "different". I'm embarrassed when I bring up God in a conversation with people, for fear of them bashing me. However, there are a lot of people you meet that are not Christians and it's very easy to copy what they do and say and how they act. I tend to fall under that category, unfortunately. I have found myself saying God's name in vain without even realizing it. I immediately confess that to God and ask fervently in prayer for forgiveness for cursing His name.

Now that I am refocusing my life, I want to try to change all of that. I want to change how I let people treat me after them knowing I'm a Christian. I want to let everyone know that I am a Child of God and not be ashamed about it. I want to be the light in this dark world.
Matthew 6:22 & 23,

"The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in your is darkness, how great is the darkness!"

My goal as a Christian is to show Jesus to others THROUGH me. I hope to be an influence to new Christians and ask older, wiser people who have known Christ for ages, how I should share Christ with people. I know that I won't always get people to Christ. It'll be hard. I know that some may grow more and more angry with me, the more I share, but I don't want to care anymore because I'm doing what the Lord has asked of me.

Jesus hears my concerns and I lift this post to Him.



XOXO

La Vie En Rose

Hi! So, I'm assuming that when you see this blog you are confused by the title. Well, that's what I am here to tell you! La vie en rose is a song that I heard on a television show I was watching one night. When I first heard it, I sobbed my eyes out. It was a beautiful song and the lyrics were so touching. I looked up the meaning of the phrase soon after and found out that it meant this:

"La vie en rose literally translates to life in pink. However, it would be better translated to life through rosy (pink) glasses. The idea is to depict a state where everything appears rosy and cheerful to you. It's about a state of bliss when everything around you is a source of joy. This is the kind of state you are usually in when you are deeply in love." --Antariksh Bothale 

What better thing for me to call my blog, right? I love the color pink and the idea of falling in love. I also like things rosy and cheerful, so why not? 

I hope you find this blog to be of cheerful, rosy depictions. That's what I'm trying to do as I write my thoughts, fears, hopes, and dreams!

Hey there!

I haven't written on the blog in a very long time. I have been convicted that I haven't been writing enough. I am praying that I will be able to write more because I love to look back at my previous posts and view the growth in my life.

God has been doing great things in my life. I am so thankful for all the opportunities God has given to me. I have moved out of my parents house, gone to school and done well, and I am learning what growing up is all about. It has proved not to be easy, but the challenges are helping me become the person God wants me to be. I have loved making a lot of my decisions on my own, but I know that I won't always make the right one.

I am so excited to continue to write on the blog and make it more beautiful while I share my thoughts, feelings, fears, and accomplishments.