Dear Friends,
If you know me, you know that I love to write. You know that I pour my heart out randomly and you know that I love to speak with all of my emotions. Well, this is to you. You know who you are. You know exactly who I am. You know exactly what you're dealing with when it comes to me. So from the bottom of my heart, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for EVERYTHING. Thank you for all you have done for me. Thank you for allowing me to be me.. and for never allowing me to be something or somebody that I'm not. Thank you for all your love and support throughout the years. Thank you for loving me as I truly am. Thank you for the little things such as holding my hand when I'm scared, for holding me or lending me your shoulder when I cry, and thank you all for having a servant's heart and sacrificing a lot of things for me. You have no idea how much it means to me that you're in my life. I usually have the hardest time trusting people, but I don't have that problem with you guys. I am able to trust you with my entire life and not have to worry about being messed with, screwed over, or stabbed in the back. After all that has happened in my life, it's nice to know y'all have my back. :)
On that note, I just want you to know that I mean it when I say I love you. Some of you I haven't known for very long at all but some of you I have known forever and I just want you to know that I love you so much and don't know what I'd do without you. I don't know that I have ever had more love than I do right now for all of you. I am truly blessed by God to know what love is--when it is received and being able to reciprocate! Besides God, you guys are the people who keep me going on a daily basis. You're the ones that keep me smiling until my face hurts and the ones that keep me laughing so hard that I cry, pee my pants, or snort. You're the people I don't have to be embarrassed around and I can show my entirely crazy self to and you will still love me, regardless of the insanity you may feel I have at that particular moment. I have really met some rare gems when I met all of you and so again, I wanted to thank you for all you've done. I know that you'll continue to do more, but I just wanted to stop for a minute to thank you for what you have done for me. You guys have been the most influential people in my life. You have helped me become the true Megan Isabel Skidmore. You've helped me become the person I want to become, the person that God would want me to be. Not the person I want to be for myself. I know I'll make mistakes along the way, but I know that you'll be there to help me get back up if I happen to fall.
That's the most amazing feeling in the world... support. An extra back bone when mine seems to fail. A Heavenly Father who heals it and the friends that surround me to help keep it strong. I have never felt more blessed! I love you all so much... Tears well up in my eyes every time I think about y'all... I've never met more selfless people and you have been an incredible example to me. Even if we don't stay super close for the rest of our adult lives, just know that you guys will always have a special place in my heart. You guys will own the names, "Aunt" and "Uncle" to any children I may bear. You really do mean that much to me... and I can't wait to see where life unfolds and where each of you land when it does! Love you :)
It's Okay
Saturday, November 14, 2015
Writing has always been a passion of mine. My favorite format on which to write is my blog. I love that I can speak my mind and I don't have to have it graded on by a teacher and don't have to be ashamed of people reading this. It can just be me, my heart, my head, and my fingers working together to create something. There's something about sharing what's on my mind that makes me feel better about things.
What's on my mind tonight at 12:36 a.m. is the fact that I no longer have a set plan in my life. I had planned to marry my high school sweetheart, be in college working towards a degree in the medical field (still the plan), maybe setting up to have a few kids, and buy a house. Well, that plan backfired (mostly). I'm still in school and living on my own (in an apartment.. no house), but I'm single as a pringle, as some kids would say. If I'm being honest, I'm actually okay with that. I haven't been single in about 3 years so it's refreshing to have this time with God to just figure out who I am, alone. (Who am I kidding? It's refreshing for about 2 seconds and then I find myself crushing on the next guy I meet.)
Although, something else I hadn't really planned is the fact that I just picked up and moved to a new town where I know basically no one (I know only 2 handfuls of people), to a church that I'm only slightly familiar with, and to a place where there might not be job security... and all with a friend who has been in my life for 8 years now. But that's okay. It's what I decided to do. I'm happy with the decision and I feel like it's right for me right now.
I'm okay with not knowing what's going to happen to me. I kinda have this adrenaline rush when I think about it. My love life is somewhere near non-existent, my self esteem has hit rock bottom, my school life is stressful and exhausting, and I'm exhausted (could be the coffee, could be my late night worrying, who knows). I didn't really want to see my life hit this spot. But it did. And it's okay. I'm okay. I'm still surviving, still hanging on by a thread. I may not have a man (and I may be scaring them away), may not make the smartest decisions (moving without talking to anyone first), may be stressed out for about 95% of my life and losing sleep because of it, but I'm still going.
That's my plan. To "just keep swimming". To move forward with my life. Not have high expectations, not to try to make something out of nothing, not to force anything to happen, not to WORRY. Worrying may give me something to do but it gets me absolutely nowhere. I have neither the time nor the energy to even care anymore about making things in my life happen. God always ends up opening my eyes about trying to do things my own way, anyhow. This post is to save myself the trouble and remind myself that HE holds my future in HIS hands. God has everything under control. Whether or not I want to believe that truth. It's the absolute truth. I know that anyone reading this will be in my face screaming, "Uh, duh! I've been trying to tell you this for a long time!"
My hope for this next upcoming year is that I make it a year of no regrets. I want to go on adventures, get out of my comfort zone, explore new places, eat foods I'd once cringed at trying, meet new people even though that scares the daylights out of me, and much more. I don't want to make plans. I just want things to happen and let life takes its course. Like the element of surprise. I don't want to set the bar too high and end up disappointed. I want to just allow God to take me wherever He chooses and I want to be okay with it. Because in the end, I know I'm going to be okay. Just like I am now.
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To My Dearest Friends
Friday, November 6, 2015
I have been blessed in my life to find people that know most everything about me... and still want to be in my life. They know my good and bad qualities, my quirks, my fears, my overreactions, etc. They know all of that stuff and yet they still are my friends. I can tell them pretty much anything and not be embarrassed about it. Some of them I have just met and some of them have been in my life for a long time. But I just wanted to take the time to thank them here.
Abbie--You have been my longest friend...11 years! We may not have been "best friends" until 6 years ago, but you have been in my life for so long that I can't ever picture my life without you. I know you will always be there even if you're not always "there". You have helped me get through several boys, breakups, heartaches, you've been my shoulder to cry on, you've helped me with my homework, stayed up talking to me at night when I have needed it, you helped me write some of the most LAME stories ever, you've been excited for me when I go on dates, you literally tackled me when I said I was fat, you trusted me with your life and opened your heart with me, you've stayed up to shave your legs with me at 2 in the morning, you and I have had best friend dates and have gone to see romantic movies and dinners together, you led me around New York and took me to the beach and we bought floppy hats and sat in the hot sun together in the middle of June, and you're always there to lend a hand and to give great, godly advice. You're downright amazing. Thank you so much for all you've ever done for me and for everything you will do in the future. I feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life and call you my best friend. I don't know what my life would look like without you in it! I love you so much and can't wait until I can see you again:)
Sarah Anne-- We have been friends for what, like, 7 years now?! I remember the day you and I met. It was at a New Year's Eve party. I don't remember all the events that took place but I knew that wherever you went, I went too! We became friends from that point on and you've continually stayed in my life which is amazing, because of all that you have had to put up with! We've been friends through the weird, no-makeup stages, the braces, the pimples, driver's training, and puberty. (Yuck) We've had our ups and downs and we've had a few fights but we always come back to each other in the end. We've had countless sleepovers where you and I have done prank calls to people we know, stayed up until 4am talking about boys and calling them ;), we've spent years together in youth group, at camp, went to high school together, you were with me during my various panic attacks, you have stayed up late at my house (even when I wasn't there) just to help me get back on the right track, and now we're going to be roomies! Can you believe that?! It has always been a pleasure to have you in my life! I don't know what my life would have looked like all throughout these years if you hadn't been there. You always bring laughter and excitement to my life and I can't wait to see more of you when we live together. It's going to be a great adventure! Love you! :)
Sarah Z (and CJ)-- You've been one of my closest friends for almost 6 years now. I can't believe it's really been that long. I remember the day I met you! It was at a youth group event. Some mutual friends introduced us and from that point on, we were pretty close friends. We texted nonstop for 2 weeks! We never saw each other and had conflicting schedules and that always sucked, but now that you are married and I'm an adult (and I can drive), we have gotten together a lot more often, which I have happily taken advantage of! (And thank you CJ for letting me steal your wife for hours in the last few weeks!) But in all seriousness, you truly have been one of the most influential people in my life. You have helped me through so much of my teen years and you have always given me the greatest advice when it came to guys, God, work, school, etc. You have always been there for me when I've needed to talk, you've always invited me to your parties, you've always been there when I've needed to cry to someone, you laughed at me when I squeezed the life out of your hand and cussed at the workers in the haunted house, you and your husband have paid for various things for me and you guys let me eat your food, you've listened to me ramble on and on about the things you've heard a dozen times, you are willing to teach me how to snowboard, and you've always opened up your home to me when I needed to get out of town. You even wasted your gas to come all the way to Owosso to help me clean my house and get over dumb boys ;) You're an amazing, true friend. I love you so much and just wanted to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. :) I don't know what I'd do without you!
David-- It's only been 3 weeks since I've "officially" known about your existence, but your existence has been a pleasure to be around. I've never met anyone in my entire life that I could connect with so fast (on a friendship level) besides you. Literally the first night we met, we stayed up until 5 in the morning and attempted to watch a horror movie but then we just talked and laughed (and kept Sarah up). That made me feel like I have known you my whole life. Meeting you (or according to Sarah, being set up) was one of the best things that has happened to me in the last half of this year.. I've been through a lot and you've just made it easier for me. You've been there to listen to me ramble on the phone about the most random things, you've been (a part of) my support system, you've helped me work through some personal battles, you've gotten me to laugh until I peed my pants or cried, you held my hand in the haunted house when I was scared and freaking out while hyperventilating, you've gotten me to smile so much that my face hurts afterward, you've taken me to the movies and bought me dinners, and best of all... you've cared about me so much that you've offered to help me with things and have asked me if I'm doing okay, every single day. Thank you for being so sweet and for making things less difficult for me. You've been an amazing friend and I can't wait to get to know you better.. for years to come:)
Friends like this don't always come around.. but when they do, hold them close! These people are amazing and I'm so glad I've had the privilege of meeting them, growing up with them, and spending time in my adult life with them. I have not always made friends easily and obviously all of them have known that, but they have stayed in my life regardless! They are all meaningful to me and I'm so glad God hand-picked them to walk into my life. I am forever grateful and happy to know them and love them. :)
Abbie--You have been my longest friend...11 years! We may not have been "best friends" until 6 years ago, but you have been in my life for so long that I can't ever picture my life without you. I know you will always be there even if you're not always "there". You have helped me get through several boys, breakups, heartaches, you've been my shoulder to cry on, you've helped me with my homework, stayed up talking to me at night when I have needed it, you helped me write some of the most LAME stories ever, you've been excited for me when I go on dates, you literally tackled me when I said I was fat, you trusted me with your life and opened your heart with me, you've stayed up to shave your legs with me at 2 in the morning, you and I have had best friend dates and have gone to see romantic movies and dinners together, you led me around New York and took me to the beach and we bought floppy hats and sat in the hot sun together in the middle of June, and you're always there to lend a hand and to give great, godly advice. You're downright amazing. Thank you so much for all you've ever done for me and for everything you will do in the future. I feel incredibly blessed to have you in my life and call you my best friend. I don't know what my life would look like without you in it! I love you so much and can't wait until I can see you again:)
Sarah Anne-- We have been friends for what, like, 7 years now?! I remember the day you and I met. It was at a New Year's Eve party. I don't remember all the events that took place but I knew that wherever you went, I went too! We became friends from that point on and you've continually stayed in my life which is amazing, because of all that you have had to put up with! We've been friends through the weird, no-makeup stages, the braces, the pimples, driver's training, and puberty. (Yuck) We've had our ups and downs and we've had a few fights but we always come back to each other in the end. We've had countless sleepovers where you and I have done prank calls to people we know, stayed up until 4am talking about boys and calling them ;), we've spent years together in youth group, at camp, went to high school together, you were with me during my various panic attacks, you have stayed up late at my house (even when I wasn't there) just to help me get back on the right track, and now we're going to be roomies! Can you believe that?! It has always been a pleasure to have you in my life! I don't know what my life would have looked like all throughout these years if you hadn't been there. You always bring laughter and excitement to my life and I can't wait to see more of you when we live together. It's going to be a great adventure! Love you! :)
Sarah Z (and CJ)-- You've been one of my closest friends for almost 6 years now. I can't believe it's really been that long. I remember the day I met you! It was at a youth group event. Some mutual friends introduced us and from that point on, we were pretty close friends. We texted nonstop for 2 weeks! We never saw each other and had conflicting schedules and that always sucked, but now that you are married and I'm an adult (and I can drive), we have gotten together a lot more often, which I have happily taken advantage of! (And thank you CJ for letting me steal your wife for hours in the last few weeks!) But in all seriousness, you truly have been one of the most influential people in my life. You have helped me through so much of my teen years and you have always given me the greatest advice when it came to guys, God, work, school, etc. You have always been there for me when I've needed to talk, you've always invited me to your parties, you've always been there when I've needed to cry to someone, you laughed at me when I squeezed the life out of your hand and cussed at the workers in the haunted house, you and your husband have paid for various things for me and you guys let me eat your food, you've listened to me ramble on and on about the things you've heard a dozen times, you are willing to teach me how to snowboard, and you've always opened up your home to me when I needed to get out of town. You even wasted your gas to come all the way to Owosso to help me clean my house and get over dumb boys ;) You're an amazing, true friend. I love you so much and just wanted to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. :) I don't know what I'd do without you!
David-- It's only been 3 weeks since I've "officially" known about your existence, but your existence has been a pleasure to be around. I've never met anyone in my entire life that I could connect with so fast (on a friendship level) besides you. Literally the first night we met, we stayed up until 5 in the morning and attempted to watch a horror movie but then we just talked and laughed (and kept Sarah up). That made me feel like I have known you my whole life. Meeting you (or according to Sarah, being set up) was one of the best things that has happened to me in the last half of this year.. I've been through a lot and you've just made it easier for me. You've been there to listen to me ramble on the phone about the most random things, you've been (a part of) my support system, you've helped me work through some personal battles, you've gotten me to laugh until I peed my pants or cried, you held my hand in the haunted house when I was scared and freaking out while hyperventilating, you've gotten me to smile so much that my face hurts afterward, you've taken me to the movies and bought me dinners, and best of all... you've cared about me so much that you've offered to help me with things and have asked me if I'm doing okay, every single day. Thank you for being so sweet and for making things less difficult for me. You've been an amazing friend and I can't wait to get to know you better.. for years to come:)
Friends like this don't always come around.. but when they do, hold them close! These people are amazing and I'm so glad I've had the privilege of meeting them, growing up with them, and spending time in my adult life with them. I have not always made friends easily and obviously all of them have known that, but they have stayed in my life regardless! They are all meaningful to me and I'm so glad God hand-picked them to walk into my life. I am forever grateful and happy to know them and love them. :)
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