But we didn't. We barely lasted those years, even though we were technically still together. We fought constantly in the last few months before our nasty breakup. I don't think either of us wanted to be in the relationship anymore, we just didn't really know how to come to terms with it. It shouldn't have been that hard to be with someone...and losing you was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I lost not only a boyfriend, but I lost my high school sweetheart and best friend, the one person I told all my secrets, fears, ambitions, and dreams to without being ashamed or embarrassed. I had never trusted anyone else that much with my life. And you tore my heart to pieces. I don't think you meant to, but you did. And it hurt like hell. I was broken hearted for months. I gained 40 pounds and let my house become a trash bin. I cried buckets for a month and a half. Then I couldn't cry anymore. I was tapped out. Slowly but surely, I was getting over you.
Now that we're a day past six months of being apart, I know I'm fine without you. Never thought I would be, but I am. I have moved on. I have come to terms with the fact that we will never be together again. And I am totally okay with that. I won't ever love you like I did before and probably won't ever trust you again, but I won't ever hate you for what you did. Things were a lot different than they are now. We're older, getting more mature, making life decisions we didn't have to make in high school. I guess sometimes you don't always end up being with the person you thought you would. I always thought we'd end up together, but I'm going to be honest... I'm glad we didn't. We wouldn't have been happy and the relationship would've gone terribly wrong had we stayed together. As much as it hurt to lose you, I know that I can go on and leave you in my high school memories. The verse that helped me get through all this was Isaiah 41:10,
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”I never thought I would ever say this, but thank you for breaking up with me. If you hadn't, I don't think I would have ever been able to do half the things I've done since we've been apart. I moved to a different city, switched jobs, and got a new place to live. I'm making friends and putting myself out there. I'm trying new things, going on adventures, and I'm happy and content with where my life is. God has brought me to that place. And I hope the same for you. I hope you're doing everything you told me you wanted to do when we were together. I hope you're actually living the way you say you wanted to and I hope that you are serious about your relationship with God like you said you wanted to be. I seriously wish you the best in life and I honestly do hope that you find a woman that makes you happy.
With all that being said, I will say... Farewell. We had a good run. Good luck with everything and God Bless.
Sincerely,
Megan
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